


Grimm

by OutrageousIngeniousBrilliance (sublimeWaves)



Series: 25 Prompt Challenge [16]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Little Red Riding Hood, Fairy Tale Logic, Fairy Tale Retellings, Green Sun, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 13:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1819363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sublimeWaves/pseuds/OutrageousIngeniousBrilliance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time Little Red Riding Hood had to take a basket full of goodies from his drunk friends to his teen aged grandma while being pursued by his his half dog sister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grimm

**Author's Note:**

> Grim - adj. Ferocious; savage

“John!  Janey is soo sick.”  Roxy leans over John, the stench of scotchka radiating from the girl making John vomit a little in his mouth.  He chokes down the foul substance.  “Rose and I would bring her the goodies from the bakery, but…”  Roxy laughs over her slurring.  She doesn’t even attempt to fix any of her mistakes.  Rose walks over to John, but it ends up being more like stumbling.

“You’re drunk.”  John answers, sighing.  He always expects Roxy, but Rose?  He hasn’t gotten used to this new habit that his friend has picked up.  Smelling like a lemon drop martini, Rose puts a red cloak on Johns back and puts a basket of goodies in his hand.

“Go through the woods and go to Jane’s for us.” 

Unceremoniously, John is shoved outside.  John stops to think that this is like the beginning in some cliché movie… nah!  He ventures a straight into the forest because if this is a movie then he is the protagonist and shit is about to go down. 

Five minutes in and John is about to tear off this red cloak off his back.  Rose wants him to wear it, so he will.  The hood, though, keeps getting stuck on branches and bushes and basically is an inconvenient piece of clothing for adventuring.  It gets caught on a particular stubborn brush and it sends him back, causing him to trip and fall.

“John!  Are you okay?”  A hand appears to help John off the ground.  Oh good, it’s just his sweet sister who happens to just be prowling about the mysterious woods by herself and not some creeper.

“Thanks, Jade!”  John smiles as he takes the hand and gets up.  Something is wrong with Jade, short and simple.  She looks different.  Her skin is darkened and her doggy ears are more pronounced than usual.

“What are you doing here John?”

“I’m taking food to Jane since she’s been so sick.”  John answers, patting his basket of goods.   Interest peeking, Jade tries to look inside the basket.

“Can I have some?”  She asks with a smile.  With a step back, John shakes his head.

“No can do, these are for Jane.”  With a quick downturn of the lips and with teeth, sharp as pinpoints, bared, Jade asks again.

“Pretty please, John.  For me?”

“They’re for Jane!’  Jade snaps, lunging for the basket.

“John!”  John runs off and tries to protect the basket before Jade can get off the ground.  He, a leaf on the wind, flows though the wood until he is sure Jade is gone.  He then starts his way towards Jane’s in a casual walk. 

It’s not long until he gets to Jane’s house.  He walks into the house without even knocking, because he does that sort of shit, and finds Jane sitting on her bed.  She wears an ugly tiara and her eyes have gone black and red.  John pities how sick she must be.

“Oh, John, Roxy told me you were bringing me some food.”  Jane says her voice on one note and carrying no sign of life in it whatsoever.

“Jane, what red eyes you have.”  Jane stares emotionlessly at Jon. 

“Better to see you with.”  That’s strange for answer for someone who is sick, John thinks.  “The cloak is new.  Trying on Dave’s color?”

“Jane, what weird clothes you have on.”  Jane looks down at her red pajama dress.

“Better than your blue pajamas and red cloak thing.”  Looking down, John feels insulted, but the comment is true.

“Touché.”  There is a glow on the tiara Jane wears.  It grows brighter as it frames Jane’s face.

“Jane, what big tiara you’re wearing.”

“Better to control her with.”  A voice comes out of the closet next to John and Jade walks out.  In a flash Jane is one side of the red cloaked boy and Jade is on the other.  Clutching the basket, John calls on the wind again to escape.  It lets him have a head start out of the house and into the mysterious woods.

Blindly he runs through the forest with no goal other than to lose the girls of his family.  Why couldn’t they just be drunkards like the Lalonde-Strider bunch?  He makes it to a waterfall in the woods and a hand grabs his red hood and pulls him into the cave behind the cascading water.

“Dave?  Dirk?”  As luck would have it, the two boys stand in the cave, nothing unusual about them in appearance.

“John, Jade and Jane are being controlled by Betty Crocker.”  Dirk says quickly, getting to the point.  “We have to break the curse.”

“How?”  The two bros look at each other than the basket.

“Rose thought ahead and gave you the green sun.”  Dave answers.

“Oh, that makes sense.”  John says, smiling.

“John, no it doesn’t, which is why it will work.*”

The two girls jump into the cave.  Three-vs-Two are pretty good odds, John thinks.

“The basket, John.”  Jade demands, teeth showing and claws out.

“I don’t think so!”  The green sun shines bright, blinding John as he takes it out of the basket.  John throws the sun at Dave who catches it, unaffected by the rays due to his glasses.  It burns bright as it consumes the cave in its light.

“No!”  Jane and Jade scream as they’re turned into their normal non-grimdark selves.

“Well, I’m glad that’s over.”  John says as he puts the sun in the basket and takes out some non-Betty Crocker cookies at the bottom of the basket.  He starts to pass them around to his grateful friends.

“Yeah, being controlled sucked!”  Jade took a cookie and wolfed it down.  The five of them sat in a circle in a cave in the woods behind a waterfall eating cookies when a yellow clad figure jumped thought the water.  Jake held his guns and stared.

“Blimey, what did I miss?”

**Author's Note:**

> Grim…. Grim!dark… see what I did there? The first thing I thought of when I saw Grim as a prompt was the Grimm Brother’s fairy tales and this is how this fic just came to life I guess.  
> *I do not know what the green sun really does. I read that part of Homestuck relatively fast, but I do have a general concept of what it is. Basically, Dave’s whole conversation with John is how I view Homestuck in a nutshell and I how I learned to just go with it.


End file.
